Yeah, I was sick most of this week. I guess it’s a good time to re-watch my movie favorites. One of them is Amelie and the other Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
If you never watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s, you may not want to watch the following clip.
Ahhhh…I used to watch these things with my ex-husband. I called him the other day. His birthday was on Halloween and I wanted to really wish him well. The last time I talked to him we were still married. Even though that relationship was a bit turbulent. I think that out of all the guys I’ve ever fallen in love with…(okay I’m making it sound like there were a lot, but there really weren’t that many) Anyway, out of everyone, he was the one that loved me the most. I think our feelings for each other were mutual and we both knew each other very well at some weird abstract intense level. In the end he knew what I needed most from him was a lot of space. I really really am grateful that he respected and knew that was what I needed even if he didn’t want that at the time. It was an awkward phone call, since my decision to make it was so sudden, but we wished each other happiness and wellness and it was so quick because it seemed so weird and out of place with my current life. It’s like I was a different person back then. And he is also a different person now. And we were wishing the memories of the people we knew back then well and we weren’t talking with each other at all. It was strange. Not bad. Just weird. I’m laughing now, just remembering the beginning of the conversation:
Me: It’s Jennifer. Remember me? We used to be married for 5 years.
Him: Yes of course I remember you!
Me: I’ll make this short to minimize the awkwardness. I’m just calling to wish you an early happy birthday because I figured you would take that day off and I don’t have any other number and I also wish you the best in life and that I always have and always will wish you well…*trying to get as much of it as possible out in one breath*
Anyway we chit-chatted and he asked me if I was happy and I asked him if he was happy and we both said we were happy but didn’t go into details. But the conversation lasted all of 3 minutes and although it was strange and rushed, there were well-wishes all around.
I wonder if someday I’ll be another new person for last guy to break my heart, so I can call him on the phone and we can awkwardly exchange well-wishes and realize that the old people don’t exist anymore.
Right now I’m talking to different people in the hopes of forgetting good old you know who. But most of these guys are just wrong. Wrong for me at least. Maybe if I was a more unemotional fun loving girl I’d do well. But it seems to me what most of these guys want is a girl to have sex with but they are too cheap to get a prostitute. So they figure, dinner, drinks, movie adds up to sex. Not that I have a major problem with that going on. But for me, right now, there’s just something not right about it and it’s not something that I want to deal with.
You know I wish I could go with the flow of these things with no problem and be a cool and sassy girl…I really do. I bet life’s easier to live that way. I wish I didn’t have to make it so complicated.
