I guess it doesn’t make sense that I’m talking about day 2 at the beginning of the day, but the thing is, I don’t have time when I get home. I just have time to have my shake, get ready for work tomorrow, then sleep so I can start the process all over again.

I had the shake and the Ionix Supreme this morning. No problems here.

I guess I didn’t say what I had for lunch yesterday. I went to both the pizza place AND McDonalds. I think I ate too much and went over the allotted number of calories and things. we’ll just leave it at that. No need to go into detail… Every time I think I’m restricting myself, I rebel and go overboard with my rebellion. It’s more like a revolution of gluttony. Most of the time when left unrestricted, I tend to make much healthier choices, especially when left alone. When people are around me, I go nuts with food.

Anyway, I’ll be more careful today. It’s not like it’s that bad.

Other than that, the whole Isagenix thing fits into my life easily, since the shake is a lot less trouble than I imagined, and it’s all I really have time for during breakfast and at dinner anyway. Easy peasy so far. I’m sure lunch today will be easy too. I’ll just eat what I normally eat when I don’t think I’m on some sort of diet.

I started Isagenix today because I’m a stupid idiot. I know that is some harsh negative thinking for the first day, but I ordered their 30-day cleanse thinking it was some normal cleanse thingy that you take and you’re done with in a day or two. I didn’t think they literally meant 30 days. I thought it meant 4 days over a 30 day period. I got it because an author recommended it. And if an author recommended it, it must be good…ha. Good logic. It also encourages you to be in a sort of pyramid scheme like selling thing…so if I find this stuff is good, you guys can order the stuff through me and I’m supposed to make lots of money.

When I got the package in the mail, I was shocked. (you know, I really should read what I’m getting and look at the program before I order random things.) There were gigantic bottles of powder and gigantic bottles of liquid, bottles of pills, packets of who knows what…geez. Seems kinda high-maintenance to me. But, I got myself into this, I should at least try it for 30 days…why not. I bought the whole thing already and spent my money, now all I really have to lose is weight. (yes, I know I’ve stated before how much I’m against stuff like this and here I am doing it. what a maroon.)

So I started the day with a chocolate shake, which was whatever…My blending thing was not high powered, so there were lots of clumps. They encourage you to buy their blender. It looks exactly like the magic bullet. I also had an ounce of Ionix Supreme which is a brown liquid that you’re supposed to drink for who knows what reason. I was pleasantly surprised. It tasted pretty good! Much better than the shake. They make both sound so horrible in the preparation instructions by saying to mix stuff with ice or dilute with water to improve taste. Geez. It wasn’t that bad. It was all drinkable. Anyway. That was my breakfast. I’m supposed to eat a sensible lunch. (whatever that means, but don’t I always eat sensibly?) Then for dinner another shake. I looked at the ingredients and it looked like good stuff…

I don’t forsee any problems with this program so far, since they allow me to make my own decision at lunch. I don’t really eat breakfast anyway. And I don’t normally eat dinner either…well lately. So it’s all good.

Perhaps it will work. At this point my main concern is convenience. And even then I’m not sure if I want to shell out that much money just for all those weird potions. I guess in the long run it would save me money in food. But this woman can’t live off shakes alone. At least not for breakfast and dinner.

I mean what if someone suddenly falls in love with me and we go to restaurants for dinner where you sit down and get served. What would I do then? What if I suddenly hang out with friends on the weekends and eat breakfast at IHOP? What would I do? Do I abandon the Isagenix?

So my intention now is probably to quit this after 30 days to leave room for these possibilities. But who knows…Maybe people will hang out with me strictly during lunch…But these are far away never never land dreams…

I know my blog is not cool.

All the cool blogs give you interesting, informative information, like how to fit more hours in the day or how to increase your productivity 20,000-fold. Or they have nice pictures of stuff. Or they’re funny.

Let me just say right now: I know absolutely nothing. I have no advice to give. I am not efficient, productive, or interesting. I don’t claim to be any kind of authority on anything. And any firm statements made, can easily change. All hissy fits thrown will be meaningless a few minutes later…And often there is no real point to anything blogged here. I’m not sure what my point is this very moment, and maybe that is the point I’m trying to make here anyway.

[official end of post. rambling begins here.] 

Not to say that I’m not trying for anything. I sit here typing with a notebook close by, ready to jot down any sort of glimmer of inspiration, or solid “to do” list. The people I talk to about this seem to have the same thing…the anticipation that something needs to be done, or has to happen. They’re armed with notebooks and organizers, ready to fill with some presently undefined potential… uhm… whatever.  Our hearts are ready to receive this unknown thing.

We’re all in a hurry for something. But after years of dreams shattering, disappointing, you wonder if what you really wanted was good  for you in the first place. Maybe what is to come is what you’ve been waiting for…like a happy surprise ending.

For now it’s an awkward and uncomfortable limbo…So when does my real life begin? Maybe that’s the illusion that needs to be broken through. Well. Who knows. Maybe I should just go and play Animal Crossing now.

Ohkay. NOt much posting action due to trojan/virus/autodownloader I have on my work computer. And I sort of don’t have much time to do this when I’m home. There’s sleeping to be done and books to be read and dishes to be washed and plants to be watered, migraines to be gotten over… Then work again in a few hours. How sucky is that?

Weird new eccentric tic: Spraying a ton of perfume on before sleeping. I guess the smell lulls me to sleep.
I redeemed my $1 winning lottery ticket and got some more lottery tickets. Re-investing my winnings into the lottery. It’s my only hope…for now at least. There comes a time in a girl’s life when you’re no longer too good for the lottery. For me, that time is now. Soon I’ll be chain-smoking and taking the bus to Barona. Someone also told me that I could probably buy his love if I won the lottery. Well…at least now we know I’m no longer above buying love. Who says money can’t buy you love?

There are trojans and all kinds of weird things on my workstation computer today…I called into the help desk and no response. I suppose I will have to wait. I imagine the hard drive will need to be reimaged. Meanwhile I’m using the computer in the empty cube next to me.

Gave in to the venti white mocha after much resistance today. I needed it, so I’m glad to have it. Before that, random thoughts ran through my mind, such as, “Why do you try to listen now that I won’t talk?” “I need to get out of this backwater town. Every weekend.” “I’m just so convenient like the corner liquor store. Like Sunday morning…though, that’s easy. “If the tin man didn’t wish for a heart, maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess.” I got a text notification that my flight tonight would be 15 minutes late. Then in predictable form, I promptly burst into tears.

So off to 7-11 I went to get some York peppermint patties and Junior Mints. Then next door to Starbucks for you know what.

Less than an hour left of work. Then off to the airport again. I wonder if the Google employees will be there. Last week almost everyone in the airport worked for Google. And they all knew each other. I felt kind of left out. Why can’t I work for Google too? I guess having nothing but library skills is working against me…

Take me back to a time when life was simpler and you know we loved the guys with the cars that go BOOM.

Now wasn’t that a dangerous trip down memory lane. But I can’t decide who I wanted to be more, Tigra or Bunny.

Okay. More coffee over here, please.

I haven’t really gotten much sleep. I’ll attribute it to the coffee I had yesterday afternoon, which also started a migraine.

Today promises to be a busy work day. I shouldn’t be up downloading stupid ringtones to identify people calling me. I should be up getting ready. Ready for the day ahead.  And the weekend too…

This is stupid. I mean, most of the time I find ringtones obnoxious, but here I am putting every possible obnoxious ringtone on my phone. Why? Because I can. Just try and stop me. Ah but then when my phone rings, I’ll switch the ringer to silent, ashamed of myself.

Since it’s inevitable that I’m going to continue to identify all of my friends with stupid mp3 ringers, I’m curious just in case any of you are reading this, what ringer would you be? If I’m going to assign you a song, might as well be one you like…If you are not my friend, tell me what you’d want your ringer to be anyway, you know, for shits and giggles.

I just realized that I put Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry” on my phone. And it is impossible for me to hate a song more than I currently hate that one. (I’m sorry, I know you all love that song, but I just don’t agree. I don’t!!!) But I’m sure I’ll be hearing that song next time someone calls me…ugh.More evidence that I shouldn’t be doing this before six in the morning…

The weather widget on iGoogle is telling me that it’s supposed to be raining really hard right now, but when I look outside, it’s actually very sunny. Did I bring the umbrella for nothing?

Okay. Weather.com is saying it’s mostly cloudy. I guess that’s closer…

Yeah, no place like home…meaning, there’s no place that I really see as home. Although many think I’ve left my heart in San Francisco, it’s not really there, though I wouldn’t say it was here either.  Maybe the reason I’m so unsettled is that I don’t think I found a place that is safe enough to rest my heart.

I DO have the homey familiarity with the Bay Area…Maybe not so much now that my family moved to the east bay or “nickel and dime”, as my sister calls it, referring to the 510 area code. But it’s still a bit weird even when I’m visiting SF or the peninsula. It’s like I don’t have any real reason to be there other than to visit. And everything is different. Like I’m living in an alternate universe of a SF that looks familiar, but isn’t quite the SF that I know.

When I came back to SD yesterday, I was somewhat relieved in some ways because I know it as it is today. It’s beautiful in its own way. Even if I am alone in this city filled with douchebags. Though I still wouldn’t call it home. It’s where I live. It’s where I work. There is not much soul to it beyond that.

Well since I’m looking at that map, and it appears people or bots from all over the world come to visit this weird blog, does anyone want me to send them a postcard from San Diego? My nephew’s preschool teachers are encouraging family to write him letters, I guess to practice reading, so I’m going to send him a postcard. Since I’m doing that, I might as well open up the postcard writing to the general public. So anyone interested?

Delayed flight. It smells like pizza. Uno’s pizza. will not eat because seat by the gate is nice. Getting hungry. Here too early. Flight delayed. Lonely. Too early. Future uncertain. Wishing. Have lottery tickets in purse. Can they be counted on? What needs to be done while waiting? Counting. Hoping. Missing.

I’d like to point out how short and punchy my posts have been. Gone are the days when I ramble all day and night…Don’t you love it?