Everything I’ve been struggling with boils down to this one resolution:

I just want to live my life more consciously and deliberately than I ever have.

Everything from discovering the reasons behind some of my actions and reactions, to having more control over what I put into my body. I want to be more aware of things. Not just idly coasting on by, thinking I can’t do anything about certain elements in my life. Like quickly dismissing emotions as PMS, fears as craziness, people as stupid and mean…etc. Working on thinking before acting…toning down the impulsiveness, controlling the sadness-induced spending.

I want to take advantage of my green thumb and grow more food in my apartment. I’m finding that growing fresh herbs nudges me in the direction of eating more healthfully and preparing my own food. I’m hoping to grow a percentage of my food at home. I wonder what kinds of edibles I can grow given the indoor conditions? At least we know it’s organic. And I have some control over one of the basics of living–food. Don’t need to rely so heavily on outer sources. I’m also going to look at what I can do to incorporate solar power into my life, even if it’s just to charge my electronics. Just want to change my living so I’m a little bit more of a self-contained unit.

I guess it would help to drive. I know it’s not so great for the environment, but driving would allow me to do so much more in a day than I can now. So. Yes. I will aim for the license this year. Honest. I am ready. Most likely I’ll start off just using a Flexcar. If driving becomes something I like and becomes a huge necessity, I’ll get a hybrid or something, finances allowing…Or perhaps all I really need is to learn to ride a bike.

Another thing is to increase income outside of my regular job. Even if all it involves is selling my old stuff. I’d like to try starting up a one-person, hobby-type business. I emphasize one-person because I’m doing this for myself and am not going to be someone’s “little worker”. I don’t believe in doing business with friends at a certain level.

I will give knitting and crocheting another go since I have pattern ideas that I believe will DEFINITELY sell successfully. I’m still open to doing tarot readings for people, but on a donation/level of helpfulness basis. I won’t aggressively do that at this point though.

The real estate thing is something that I could take or leave despite the fact that I spent money on the classes. I feel negatively toward real estate for several reasons I won’t post. I kind of hate it. I guess I should at least give it a try. But maybe I won’t. It’s fine.