Yeah, today you’re not the boss of me, at least not for the rest of the day.

Honestly I’ve been zig-zagging from feeling really good to feeling like total shit. I’m just talking on the physical level at this moment.

All I want now is to have some nice broccoli in vegetable broth…some oatmeal…some fruit. Something…it’s not like it’s candy or cookies or chips. I just want food that will hug me and keep me warm…is that such a crime? The nutrient-rich liquid that I have to hold my breath while downing in one gulp isn’t cutting it in this, my time of seeking warmth…I find it lacking in soul.

Maybe I only protest about this now that I actually have the energy to care. Yes, Isagenix is working, I have more energy for some reason. But when I was just doing the day in, day out, I don’t have time for breakfast and dinner thing, I was too tired to care whether my food had a personality or not.

Perhaps I’m on the rage machine today because I now have the energy to care about crap. Thanks Isagenix!! I’m not being sarcastic. I really am grateful to have this energy. But once again, I am sensitized to the fact that a lot of stuff sucks. I wonder what other oppressions would I be living with if I never got off that treadmill of fatigue.  Sheesh. I’d probably be giving my phone number out to all the crazy people on the trolley. Not just some of them.  Ah why not, you’re tired and your life sucks anyway! Might as well make it suck more!! You’ve come this far! You can do it!!!

Okay, I should just eat my warm nourishing food and come back later to yell some more.

Something profound happened or popped in my head just now and I thought I would share it, but alas…it’s gone. *Wah wah wah*

The restaurant I went to on Saturday was called Ranchos the one in Ocean Beach. I probably called it something else. Anyway, it was good. I had the chicken mole enchilada. Okay. Busted. I shouldn’t have eaten that on my very strict and scientific diet…Whatevs. I was having visions. I HAD to eat. I’m just trying to lose a tiny bit of weight, not go on a visionquest.

Okay whatever. Isagenix is going fine. I did the routine. Only difference is I’ve added my daily probiotic and digestive enzymes to supplement what they already have.

I’m super pissed off today. I’m tempted to pepper spray everyone in sight. Don’t worry, I won’t. Unless you are really attacking me. Not sure if it’s the result of the acupuncture, the energy healing, the Isagenix or what. I’m leaning toward the innocence of Isagenix since I think it has been good for me, mostly. Only thing I would accuse it of is, causing fatigue, nausea, lightheadedness and headaches. Not rage.

Maybe I should blame it on the fact that it’s Monday. Or maybe the fact that no one listens to me. It makes me want to just say, “That’s it. I’m moving away from here once and for all.” But of course, no one will hear that…

Did I mention that it has been narrowed down? I only started being really unreasonably sad when I started to work here at my present place of employment. At my last job, all sorts of horrors fell upon me, from divorce to homelessness, and I couldn’t be knocked down…and I think it’s because I LOVED my job. Here, nothing major happens and I sink into great despair.

Sudden memory of the breakup…all the clothes I was wearing that day, I threw in the trash. I didn’t think they would be good to wear again. Plus, I didn’t think it would be good to donate for someone to inherit that bad juju. This is why I don’t like to buy clothing second hand…it might have someone’s breakup juju all over it…BUT…that’s just me…and that effort hasn’t stopped anyone from breaking up with me either…so my juju logic must be flawed.