and boy do my arms hurt!

I thought maybe it would be my legs or my neck or something. But nooo…My arms are all wobbly feeling now.  Wow. Maybe tomorrow my knuckles will brush the floor as I walk. Good lord. Halp.

It was fun though. After it was all done, I felt sooo warm inside. Like the inside of my body was a warm loaf of bread.

Now my arms are painful…maybe this will get me out of work.

Jerome, the yoga instructor was very nice and helpful. He had to roll me over a couple of times because I lacked the ability to roll on my own. And apparently I didn’t know left from right. And Brigitte went around healing each person as they did yoga. She even had time to do some yoga too.

Jerome somehow guessed I was Filipino. I mean, no one ever thinks I’m Filipino until they see my last name, so I was surprised. People always think I’m Chinese, or Japanese or Korean…Then he told me his mom is Filipino. Ah okay…it takes one to know one.

I guess a bunch of them do energy healing. This is how Judy knows them…

I’m in too much arm pain to type anymore…what a blessing for you!

I don’t know where this picture came from. It was in my photobucket. The baby tigers are scared of the baby chicks. That’s how it appears…

It is time to get my license and drive. Really. Seriously. A person who wants to escape as much as I do needs to drive. Then I will cease to be lame in the eyes of mankind. Then I can do road rage and follow people around threateningly like everyone else…and feel really safe in my car armor…Maybe I need one of those skeleton hoodies that seemed to be big up in the Bay Area when I visited…

Yes, a must for all drivers…

Okay I’ll stop putting those who drive down, since I am the one in the minority. But I still seriously do not trust San Diego drivers. I fear for my life every time I cross the street. I won’t cross the street until I’ve stared down every car in my vicinity.

I haven’t talked about the cat for some time because I was traveling for a while and didn’t see it. Our family dog, Howlie, up in the Bay Area is very sick and I was so worried about him…He seems to be in better spirits now, but he is still sick with his heart condition.

 Walking Howlie @ the park when I visited.

Makes me think I don’t want pets anymore. I love that cat and if I were allowed to take it in, I would. But seeing Howlie sick makes me think twice.

I’ve been ignoring the cat’s meows (my neighbors probably hate me) most of the time. I figure that it should learn to live without me. Especially since pets are no longer allowed and I’m not sure how cool the new neighbor across from me is.

It’s one of the smartest cats I’ve ever known, and who knows, if I do move, I might try to take it along with me. For now, it still hasn’t given up meowing for me to open the door…

Yesterday, if I didn’t mention this already, I abandoned my evening shake for some fruit, a salad wrap and some broth. That was nice…and even if I DID backtrack or whatever. I don’t feel like I did. I needed warmth because I was sad and pining away. Incidentally, the object of my pining showed up unexpectedly while I was eating this renegade meal and ate some of it as well.

That’s the nice thing about Isagenix. I don’t feel like I’ve absolutely failed when I don’t stick to it. I can just go back to it tomorrow like nothing ever happened. When I feel like I’ve absolutely failed, it’s time to go to the buffet and never ever look back, that’s for sure. But none of that is happening now. If anything, I feel like I have better awareness of how food that isn’t good for me affects me. I’m finding if I eat something that isn’t that great for me, I’m more aware that I’m bloated and feel disgusting afterward. So I’m more prone to craving better stuff…not all the time, but more often.

I think no matter what you do on Isagenix, you’re still doing better than before because at the very least you’re giving yourself more nutrients. This is not a commercial. I’m just saying what I think about the gawd awful liquid, okay?

He visits when it’s convenient and on the way from somewhere else…He greets me with kisses and hugs and great affection when hours before I didn’t exist…He demands food, drink, and vitamins, uses my laptop, talks about cruises and our trips to Hawaii, tosses junk on the already messy floor, and promptly falls asleep and cannot be woken…I stare at him for a while, then he wakes up momentarily to crankily tell me to turn out the lights…and I go to sleep too…

It’s like a miracle that happens on a random semi-frequent basis. Though, not enough. Or too much.

We wake for work…he asks if I have any extra t-shirts…he rushes me because we are late…it’s funny because normally I’m early. I wake at 5 am and have time to play video games, read a magazine and have breakfast and get ready at a leisurely pace…when he’s around, we get up later and it’s rush rush rush…I forget my glasses…I forget my lunch…I almost forget the yoga mat and my extra clothes…I forget my calm self and realize that we’re going to work and he’ll be cold again…like I don’t exist. As if all the happy moments we shared never happened…as if we were never together so we never broke up…a work acquaintance whose life doesn’t overlap mine except during the hours that we are paid…

I throw back his indifference with some of my own…just whipped it up this morning…though mine isn’t as light and fluffy and delicious as his…it falls flat as I sit in my corner, processing, mending, ordering books…not another soul in the room, only books needing my attention…

Lunchtime and he assumes we’re having it together…I don’t know why…we barely know each other during the day, right? Maybe he recognizes me again. Maybe he hasn’t forgotten that he loved me…that he used to love me. Maybe he still loves me. Maybe none of it happened at all…It was all a dream.

I remember when we were together in the beginning…in an Asian supermarket, I wandered off, which is my habit. Then he found me…he was scared, he said, he turned around and I was gone, I disappeared, like a dream, like I was never real. He appeared to be genuinely shaken, which I now know is not typical of him. He showed me a person that I’ve never seen since…and I want to talk to him…

And now to me, he is a dream. He disappears and reappears at will. And I sit and wait for his next appearance. And he doesn’t always come back the same as before. Always a little different…

His work day ends earlier than mine…and he says goodbye. I hope that I will see him later, but I probably won’t. Unless I happen to be on the way from somewhere else…