I’m back in San Diego and I guess it is not so bad.  I missed my plants and my bed that has a memory foam topper. I was starting to get all weird and broody up in the Bay Area, so I guess maybe it’s time for me to be a hermit again. Though I would prefer to be a hermit up there instead of down here, I can re-emerge from solitude at will over there. Here, I can do it only up to a point.

I was horrified to find that my modem/router was not working when I got back. So for a few minutes there, I was disconnected. Finally fixed it!  I’m surprised to note that the social networking thingy that I would have trouble living without is Twitter. Weird because I don’t really know very many people on twitter. I just mostly follow a bunch of strangers, who I guess I must be somewhat obsessed with? Not really. I just enjoy the little snippets. I like knowing what total strangers are doing. So it’s like stalking except you’re not invading privacy, they are just telling you. Anyway, Facebook can kiss my butt.

SO. Alarm is set for 5 am. Heater is on. And I’m contemplating just wearing my clothes for tomorrow to bed so I can just roll out and go.

I guess the whole polyamory thing on Steve Pavlina’s blog kind of threw me for a loop because it seems to be addressing most of my nagging issues. I mean, I do think it is cool that people can do it. If it results in more joyful people in the world, then it’s all good with me. But me, I just need to calm down. I think this whole vacation, I’ve been thinking a lot about couples and things…and I see more upsetting partnerships than anything. And then finding out the attitudes that my parents have about love and things like that…UGh. Well, even as a kid their thinking about this issue always bothered me. So things concerning love and all that? I’m looking all over the place for examples…but yeah, all i’m finding is despair and possible hopelessness.  I kind did my exteme detachment thing while I was still with my family. Ha. I guess my default action when I get all blubbery about something is detaching. All right all right.

Anyway, I forwarded a link to Rogerio SP’s polyamory blog posts.  I think he’ll get a kick out of it. I always forward him stuff from SP’s blog and he always seems to get all inspired.  He’s a cool person that I respect for always trying to improve himself–he’s doing those pickup things for his own personal reasons, which I understand completely about…but of course I let him know my initial gut reaction to such things. I’m just curious to see how the pickup stuff goes.  Some of those rules that he’s been spouting seem pretty true. It would be interesting to see it in action. Though I doubt anyone would want me to be their wingman

I guess I should sleep. WORK in a few hours. Let me diminish it by typing it in lower case–work.

I guess I’ll continue in my default mode – detaching – until I figure out what to do with myself next. I have to say…for the last 2 years, i’ve tried not detaching–it ain’t pretty, that’s all I have to say about that. SO yes. detaching until I figure stuff out.